Poe Hauntings.

If this is some pranksters" idea of a joke, it's a very good one.  Though still nowhere near as funny as it would be if it's earnest. 

"Dogs are known for their loyalty, making them one of the most conservative pets. Dogs represent Real America; they are often found on farms in red states and not in cities, where liberal apartment rental agreements often prevent renters from having dogs. Dogs are an important part of family values, as the quintessential American family is often featured with a dog. Dogs also are often used to search out Muslim terrorists, serving America honorably in the army and police forces across the county.
Compared with lazy, entitled cats, dogs represent the epitome of a conservative animal. Historically, dogs earned their role in the home through hard work herding animals and assisting men with hunting. Cats, on the other hand, were worshiped as false idols in ancient societies and do little to earn their keep in the home. Liberals often use dogs to their political advantage - Barack Hussein Obama keeps a dog in the White House. This is clearly a liberal ploy to win over dog owners in crucial swing states. In reality no true dog would voluntarily be a part of the liberal propaganda machine, especially given how many liberals are atheist and the proven link between atheism and bestiality."



It's true enough, I suppose, that dogs do tend to be theatrically submissive towards authority, knee-jerkingly hostile towards outsiders, and absolutely obsessed with private property.  So maybe this person could be on to something if they could only resist the rhetorical orgasm; and what a tragedy that would be. 

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In personal news my sleep last night was disturbed with some very real nightmares, if you can call them that.  I mean, there was no hellish experience of doom or entrapment. Just, running footsteps and whispered 'heys' outside my window all through the deepest part of the night, along with a knowledge telling me over and over again that this was the Land Of Eternal Autumn. 

Of course it was ghosts.  I mean, I don't beleive in ghosts.  I am proud to be a modern Materialist, liberated from every form goblin, god, devil, and anyother form of Hoodoo bullshit.  If I ever heard that you, dear reader, had made the slightest hint of a suggestion that I beleive in ghosts I would be insulted to the point of wanting to fight you. 

 These guys were obviously long-dead Natives.  I mean every modern rationalist knows that any ghost is always that of a dispossessed person.  They cannot physically hurt you but they can act as Harpies to steal the oppressor's sleep, or drive him maybe half-mad if he's especially sensitive, and gain some cheap satisfaction for themselves in that way.  I myself, rationally speaking, must surely have dozens of Polish ancestors walking as ghosts through the only towns they have ever been for all these centuries. But this doesn't mean that I could ever be a ghost myself. 

It is self-evident, to all enlightened people, that the priveleged can never be ghosts.  Or at least, not ghosts that can move around and interact with flesh.  Rather we can only be stuck awake in our coffins while voices all around admire us for how much our stones cost or how many things we have.