Saturday, June 4, 2011

Yo, Wisconsin GOP

People like good craft beers up there, a lot.  This is pure electoral stupidity on your part.

"Worried that perhaps microbrewers were operating in too free a market, legislative Republicans have proposed even more restrictions on the beer distribution business. Although the motion approved by JFC will now allow microbrewers to distribute their own beer to retailers, but it will forbid them from holding wholesalers licenses, which, as some articles have indicated, means microbrewers will not be able to band together to distribute beer"

Now, the fact that major corporate breweries are a major part of the Wisconsin economy is as well known as Wisconsinites love for brew, and protecting big business from free-market competition is clearly the main motive here; as, of course, it is with most things that the GOP does.  But I also have a feeling that psuedoconservative culture war is also a factor here.  The age-old resentment of jocks who were never able to get over the nerds becoming the cool kids once they got to college.  There's a feeling in America that actually indulging and taking pleasure out of food and drink is unmanly.   Think of those 'Miller High Life' commercials; with either the deep voiced 'High Life way' narrator or the friendly Black beer man,  that openly present drinking High Life as a test of masculinity.   It's a great pitch because it's indisputably true.   Nothing in advertising works better than presenting unflattering truths about your product in an enticing manner. But back to the lesson at hand.

There is, I'm sure, a small part of these Republican legislators taking some pleasure here out of socking it to those race-mixing college brats and urban hipsters who think they're so sophisticated.  "You will drink flavorless mass-produced light 'beer' and like it, because it makes you look virile while you unload your jet ski from your pickup, and your supper shall consist of the same light beer combined with a dozen pack of plain hot dogs garnished with plain American yellow mustard and ketchup.  Yes ketchup, we're ain't those big-city elitists from Chicago up here, and we will legally make you put ketchup on your fucking hot dog if you don't do it yourself.  And oh yeah, we will also cut off one million in parks funding every time one of you faggots in Madison buy a God-Damned Prius.  Where are you going to play kickball now you fucking hippies?"

Perhaps this round of Republican 'government' will convince the independents of this country to actually form opinions, and stop being 'edgy' like it's 1996 by voting for whoever is on the outs when times are bad.  We'll see.

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