But I want scotch.
I've cleaned fish. I have a rough technical knowledge of how to gut a wildebeest; it's the same, just larger scale, but no hands' on experience. I technically know the trick of how to rip out a fish's entire digestive system with too small cuts and one clean jerk but never had the nerve to try it.
I want scotch with some really meaty casserole type thing, or better yet some African peanut soup with hunks of blackened-grilled chicken in it and enough saracha sauce to make you go blind if the slightest drop hits your eye. I want gravy made of nothing but capsaicin and melted bone. In Chicago I tried lox which is brined fish served on a bagel and it served me when it was summer there but entirely too motherfucking daintyass for my taste just now. Even then I only had it as a side to my egg-stacked biscuits and gravy drenched in hot sauce with excellent black coffee and no water.
Fish would be a more regular food to me if they were rolled into blackened fish meatballs comprised of ghost pepper and meat half and half. I have taken to adding a bit of pumpkin spice creamer to my coffee but I just love pumpkin too is all. In winter I still take my first cup black and thick as always.