Sunday, September 7, 2014

There Was a Fly in My Bathroom Today

There was a fly in my bathroom today and I nearly had him.  I knew that he was an intelligent fly, for he knew it was time to come inside, that it was later in the year and would be freezing soon, and that I needed to destroy him in particular because of that, lest he live to breed smart flies who would evolve into ultra intelligent super flies that would enslave us all in their colonies of sugar shit and blood.  He was on my towel rack and I nearly had him.  I know the time to strike is when they are running their front legs together which means they are less alert to danger.  Yet this one stood still for a long time without running his legs, he's smart as I said, as I warned.  He sensed me but still I am wise as well, and patient.  I waited for some minutes crowbar in hand until he let his guard down as all life eventutually must and he eventually he did so I struck.  Nearly there.  Nearly there.  The beast lives still and I give my deepest apologies to my fellow man.  Still I have not surrendered.  This fiend shall fall.

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