Monday, August 18, 2014

I'm Not Looking Forward to Football Season

Though At least I am now free from small-town men in bars and their-weirdly moralistic, manfully adamant for manful adamancies' sake analysis of the latest big game.  I've no greater hope than for the Cornhuskers to be blandly mediocre for so long that they cease to be viewed as intrinsic parts of Nebraska identity and the head football is paid in proportion to his actual value to society; maybe half of what a sociology GA makes if he's especially good. 

The solution to the recent controversy over paying players or not  is to completely abolish athletic scholarships and recruitment for every school of every size everywhere without exception.  If you want to keep football then form a team out of scratch from among actual student body; a pack of business, history, and computer science majors who have never touched a barbell running single wing sweeps on the common campus green space before an audience of dozens.  My God it could be beautiful.  At any rate the absurdly loud, vulgar, hyperbolic protofascist thing we call college sports today must for the good of humanity be destroyed, exterminated, annihilated and burned to its respective subatomic units of obnoxious bullshit.  The question of whether to replace it with something or nothing is a luxury that can wait. 

And my God but you should see the bougie knobheads that the football team brings to my town on fall weekends; clogging up my streets my neighborhood my bars and generally treating my beautiful city and its people like an amusement park.  It's enough to embitter the greatest saint. 


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