I. If I wanted a Titstorm I would have asked for a Titstorm.
II. Governing the bottomlands like a God damn Billy Knight. You have to open the left side of the dam to avoid the ringworm. Only in emergencies should the kettledrum ever open I am kettlesunk in the task at hand.
III. I am superior to all who have not googled 'secret homosexual agenda' while skipping work. I am superior to atmosphered moons, The Doors Greatest Hits and Denver's 6th avenue freeway. I am superior to all who have not heard a meth dealer tell that we were being watched by 50'000 helicopters right now. I have swam in fertilizer bogs and I have made it with a Russian woman who pissed on the front walk of a Lincoln Park brownstone among the pieces of quarter-empty bottle she smashed.
IV. After it's rained I will sometimes rescue dried worms from the sidewalk and place them back in the mud. I don't this act has actually spared any of them. I am awake and in the future nothing will be. Don't you prefer to believe in a tyrant God who volcanoes everyone and is then conscious enough to make note that there's nothing left? The sun doesn't even think and the rabbits don't even know why they don't want to be eaten.
A. Every sound ever made is on the internet and every film ever made has been rescored with all of them. Country music as filtered through Omnisexual Yankee nihilists. I wish 311 would headline Memorial Park forever and I wish Huey Lewis was on a forever peak and his setlist was always new.
B. Someday recording will have existed for so long that time never did. There will be no money no food and no sex but there will be industry and chatting teeth.
C. Open your heart to an ice cream man. Choose humanity and lose. Send 'Doin it All for my Baby' into space.