Screw You David-Price Jones

I confess that it can be perversely affirming, but still disheartening, when a conservative straight up and outs themselves as a living Simpsons/Doonesbury stereotype of themselves.


"Literature serves the purpose of showing that actions have consequences, and causes have effects. Great writers one and all have something to say about this inescapable fact of the human condition.  Magic realism is the reverse, resting on the supposition that there are consequences without need for action and effects that have no causes.  In one of Marquez's novels, a woman goes out to hang her laundry, only to ascend physically to heaven.  In another novel, the fully dressed corpse of a general is brought in on a silver tray, cooked with a 'garnish of cauliflower and laurel leaves' and ready to be served at a banquet by a host who says 'eat, hearty gentlemen.'"


For real though, how much of a dogmatic prig to you have to be to matter-of-factly decree what the One True purpose of professional imagination is or the One great truth that all Great Writers must concern themselves with?  I mean God damn but seriously now?


                                                            CHAPTER 1

The universe ended in an orgy of murder, torture, and rape because Harvey went to Walgreens and bought four tank tops for the price of three.


                                                             THE END



Suck on that David-Price Jones. 

FC top 10

1. Real Madrid
2. Atletico Madrid
3. Bayern Munich
4. Paris St. Germain
5. Manchester City
6. Juventus
7. Dortmund
8. Chelsea
9. Barcelona
10. River Plate.

Reflections On Muslamic Ray Guns

A:  There's a comforting myth that white supremacism is the special province of the 'rednecks' and rubes among us.  Of course this isn't actually so, but that is not to say that there are not actual rubes in the world or that such rubes cannot be racist.

B:  There is a great amount of gender/race/class privilege involved in what as perceived as common sense vs. what is perceived as crazy or radical.  It has not, for example, ever been held by even the 'purest' strains of capitalist thought that property should take precedence over life, nor has the right to kill for one's property ever existed in American Law.  Yet since some white men like to imagine this to be the case the right to kill for property is perceived by many to be a normative American tradition. 
More to the point; the baldhead interviewed in this video may be perceived as a socially low or unsavory person,  but unlike Lincoln's own Chrisma Woman     he is probably not considered to be  insane in the way that 'everyone knows' that she is insane; even though their language is for all intents identical.  Ray guns may be more practical and 'realistic' than backfiring suicide mind bullets but only by the slightest degrees.  

C:  It isn't my message or my business; but shouldn't the man be wearing something more distinctly English than an Adidas track suit?  That's the sort of thing that a young tough of any background might wear.  I mean after this he's probably going to go home, pull some rap off his iTunes, smoke a joint and play some FIFA same as a million dudes in Cairo. 

D:  Maud'Dib!

Someday the GOP Will Be Sane Again

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/20/upshot/why-ike-wouldnt-celebrate-the-d-day-anniversary.html?rref=upshot&_r=1

FC top 10

1. Atletico Madrid
2. Real Madrid
3. Bayern Munich
4. Paris St. Germain
5. Manchester City
6. Juventus
7. Dortmund
8. Chelsea
9. Barcelona
10 River Plate

"Government Cannot Force Citizens to Violate Their Religious Beliefs Under Any Circumstances"

"Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience."

"Government Cannot Force Citizens to Violate Their Religious Beliefs Under any Circumstances"

 "Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience"

"Government Cannot Force Citizens to Violate Their Religious Beliefs Under any Circumstances"

Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience.

"Government Cannot Force Citizens to Violate Their Religious Beliefs under any Circumstances"

Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience.

"Government Cannot Force Citizens to Violate Their Religious Beliefs Under any Circumstances"

"Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience."

"Government Cannot Force Citizens To Violate Their Religious Beliefs Under any Circumstances"

"Ben Sasse believes that our right to the free exercise of religion is co-equal to our right to life. This is not a negotiable issue. Government cannot force citizens to violate their religious beliefs under any circumstances. He will fight for the right of all Americans to act in accordance with their conscience."

FC top 10

1. Atletico Madrid
2. Real Madrid
3. Bayern Munich
4. Paris St. Germain
5. Manchester City
6. Juventus
7. Dortmund
8. Chelsea
9. Barcelona
10.Cruziero

Attention Democratic Leaning Common People

I'm getting old enough to have noticed; not that I'm that old or that it's that hard, that MIDTERMS FUCKING MATTER!

A lot!!

Understand? 

If President Obama has in some ways disappointed you well; every president will unavoidably disappoint everyone, and if that be a glib truism than let us make the most of it.  As for me I am generically 'conservative' enough to accept that sometimes one needs to support the least bad.  If you find the thought of supporting the least bad to be less than inspiring then; well again I am both generically "conservative" and "old enough to say:  'Inspiration?  Fuck that shit!  Either buck up & grow up or watch fucking Star Wars if you want inspiration!" 

With that in mind:  Nebraska's midterm primary is on Tuesday.  My Democratic ballot will have perhaps a dozen total names for all contested offices and I should need no more than forty seconds to fill it out.  But I'm doing it.  Because I am a better citizen than you; and there's coffee. 

Truly, the one "meaningful" choice before me on Tuesday would probably be the state senate race in my district.  (North Lincoln; generally puts lefiish-Dems in the officially nonpartisan Unicameral.)  I'm leaning towards Adam Morfeld in that one, but I could easily change my mind and go for James Bowers instead.  

Yes Really

"She and more than a dozen others were at Round the Bend, the home of the annual Testicle Festival, for the first meeting of a group of Nebraska gun owners passionate about their guns and their right to carry them."

Along 14th Today

I saw what I could only describe as a 'miniature Muslim' sitting on a concrete post.  I know that's a crass way to state it at best but I can think of no other; a woman not quite a foot in height  in full black Abaya with a soda in her lap.  When I looked closer I found that it was actually a black-pantsed leg of a Wendy's employee laying down on break.  It's a nice day. 

Open Enough for the Likes of You

I. If I wanted a Titstorm I would have asked for a Titstorm.

II. Governing the bottomlands like a God damn Billy Knight. You have to open the left side of the dam to avoid the ringworm.  Only in emergencies should the kettledrum ever open I am kettlesunk in the task at hand.

III. I am superior to all who have not googled  'secret homosexual agenda' while skipping work.  I am superior to atmosphered moons, The Doors Greatest Hits and Denver's 6th avenue freeway.  I am superior to all who have not heard a meth dealer tell that we were being watched by 50'000 helicopters right now.  I have swam in fertilizer bogs and I have made it with a Russian woman who pissed on the front walk of a Lincoln Park brownstone among the pieces of quarter-empty bottle she smashed. 

IV. After it's rained I will sometimes rescue dried worms from the sidewalk and place them back in the mud.  I don't this act has actually spared any of them.  I am awake and in the future nothing will be.  Don't you prefer to believe in a tyrant God who volcanoes everyone and is then conscious enough to make note that there's nothing left?  The sun doesn't even think and the rabbits don't even know why they don't want to be eaten.       

V
A. Every sound ever made is on the internet and every film ever made has been rescored with all of them.  Country music as filtered through Omnisexual Yankee nihilists. I wish 311 would headline Memorial Park forever and I wish Huey Lewis was on a forever peak and his setlist was always new.

B. Someday recording will have existed for so long that time never did.  There will be no money no food and no sex but there will be industry and chatting teeth.

C.  Open your heart to an ice cream man.  Choose humanity and lose.  Send 'Doin it All for my Baby' into space. 

FC Top 10

1. Atletico Madrid
2. Real Madrid
3. Bayern Munich
4. Paris St. Germain
5. Manchester City
6. Cruziero
7. Juventus
8. Dortmund
9. Liverpool
10. Barcelona

JUSTICE FOR GOMMORAH! DEATH TO THE TYRANT OF ABRAHAM!

 I am a Mortal Kombat uppercut.  I am atemporal and omnipotent.  I was once booted from a house for winning at Mortal Kombat by jumping backwards and round kicking again and again.  I am Kirby.  I have played Smash Brothers on multimode and beaten a half dozen fucks into the wall while they just stood there.  On Smash brothers single player the object is to kill your Giant Sky Father.
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Basketball is not rigged unless it's the Lakers.  The refs are just that bad and the rules are just that arbitrary unless it's the Lakers.  I guess I'm "supposed to" hate the Bad Boys Pistons the most but really it's the Kobe/Shaq Lakers who make me most cold and I love the new jack Pistons for beating them.  I know the Kings were in Omaha once but I'm not a Kings fan for that or any other reason.  I am not a Kings fan but I was fond of the Y2ish era Kings.  Open, attacking and democratic those Kings; and it still devitalizes me to see them get fucked like they did.   Vlade Divac smoked two packs a day played till he was 45 and missed the Olympics when his country didn't exist any more.

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I am a king.

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In the future Catholicism shall be boiled down to worship of stone vulvas that you know haven't been used because the are dead chafing stone.   The vulvas shall take some differing forms to portray the different aspects of the Vulva God.  A staring eye, a raccoon, a thunderbolt and an eagle.

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I have listened to Jay Z backwards. 
I have listened to Beyoncé backwards.
I have listened to Judas Priest backwards.
I have listened to Toad The Wet Sprocket Backwards
I have listened to Ozzy Osbourne backwards.
I have listened to Carly Simon backwards.
I have listened to Sugar Ray backwards.
I have listened to Wheetus backwards.
I have listened to the Cardigans backwards
I have listened to The Verve Pipe backwards
I have listened to Smashmouth backwards.
I have listened to the Fat Boys backwards
I have listened to Counting Crows backwards
I have listened to Dr. Dre backwards.
I have listened to Ricky Martin backwards. 

I have not had sex backwards.  It is a thing that must be tried with no regard for if it may not in the strictest sense be done.  I have listened to Ronald Reagan backwards and I will become the first Amendment.   In the future soon I will buy the billboard atop the Parish Building and write "Kill Yourself for Satan." on it.