Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas Chatter

Dad:  So how many countries celebrate Christmas

Me:  How many people you mean?

Dad:  I know places like Britain, France, Germany

Me:  Yeah, well, it's a matter of Christians being predominant enough to actually shut everything down on Christmas, if that's what you're asking.

Dad:  What about Arab countries?

Me: Umm, well, no.  The mass of Christ is Christian specific, mostly. 

Sister:  Who do Muslims pray to. 

Me:  It's the Abrahamic god.

Sister:  Is it?

Me:  Yeah.  Hebrew and Arabic are actually closely related, so just think 'Yeh-Ho-Vah' and 'All-Lah' and it's pretty clear...

Dad:  Well wouldn't it make sense that they'd aknowledge the son of god....

Me.  Well, um.....ummm. Well, they would be Christians is they considered Jesus the son of god.  They don't, so.....yeah, you see.

Sister:  Why do they say the Jews killed Jesus?

Me:  Look, I'm going to pick up some more liquor. I'll be back in a bit.

Friday, December 23, 2011

In Fairness

There are many in these parts who honestly think that any man who doesn't have a noticeable paunch must be undernourished.

"A Fox News guest on Thursday said that 'you might want to say' President Obama looks like 'a skinny, ghetto crackhead.'”

Still it's both amusing and obnoxious to witness the massive amount of creative energy being expounded to think up new ways to call the president nigger without saying nigger.  And tragic too.  All this wasted effort would have been better spent on making the next Cecil B. Demille/Jerry Bruckheimer epic piece of explosion porn. 

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Home in Western NE Again

Until very recently, this region suffered a lack of the Classic Rawk radio deluge that one finds in every more populated region.  We've finally caught up on that account in the past five years.  Until then though there was only a top 40 station, an 'oldies' station,  (50's and sixties) and, of course, Country.  The oldies station is a ESPN affiliate now, inventing sporting outrage so that you Mr. Divorced Alcoholic don't have to make up your own, even if you're out among the coyotes. 

Out of Ogalala, a little courthouse town fifty miles west of here, there's a station set on 99.7, 'The Lake.'  Classic Rawk, mostly, but independent, owned from within the community.There's a weird sort of variety to these stations, different from what you'd hear on some ostentatiously variable channel on Sirius because there's probably no hipster credibility to whatever gets played.  On 99.7 I once heard one of Supertramps' twelve minute awkward early prog rock attempts followed by the Johnny Mathis version of 'What Child is This?'  Last night whoever was working there put on Boston's "Rock and Roll Band', which includes the line 'Dancing in the Streets of Hyannis.'  which is sort of funny since there actually is a Hyannis Nebraska to the north of Ogalala,  an hours drive through bare grass on a blacktop road, population 200, one hundred miles from the nearest town of 10K+.  It's one of the more isolated and forlorn places in the lower forty eight, is what I'm saying.  So the thought of anyone dancing in its wheel-track 'streets' in the dead of winter brings a grim smile.  Yet 99.7 the Lake will reach Hyannis, usually, and somebody there digs Suzanne Vega.  So any Hyannite who feels the urge and has the time, which of course he does, need only wait by his radio until by and by that sweet dose of late-eighties mild  Manhattan middlebrow groove shall come.

 

Monday, December 19, 2011

As for The Other Famous Dead Guy...


I wonder how many North Korean citizens honestly believe that heavy metal diction is the natural style of speech for everyone everywhere,; or how many there are who, in spite of hearing nothing else from any electronic media they're whole lives, are still able to recognize that there is  something out of joint, funny or even contemptible,  with everybody always speaking this way.




Do they know that they're living in a zombie movie while walking down their pristinely maintained never-used freeways?

RIP Vaclav Havel



The Czechs, and all the peoples of Central Europe, dance on the graves of the thousand years worth of self-proclaimed supermen who enslaved us.  We will never be slaves again.  Long live  liberty; long live the Czech and Bohemian people.

-The Ram.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Yeah, I'm Drinking Scotch Today

I made a quick note on the passing of Christopher Hitchens at Slacktivist.



 ...."Hitch was a leftist who shared with the modern US right a Romantic ideal of belief.  The notion that to sincerely believe a thing at all must necessarily inspire a lust to fight for and impose that belief on others.  Those who are unable to comprehend the man must understand this. It is why an atheistic radical was able to support the imperialism of Gulf War II, how a man who was a forceful supporter of Palestinian statehood and close friend to several Mid-Eastern intellectuals was able to take the side of paternalism and forced assimilation in the French burqa controversy. 

Most self-described American liberals are basically utilitarians.  Our beliefs exist as polite and modest proposals for making life better, not as vehicles for grasping the infinite through holy struggle.  We therefore see no problem with believing that secularism and rationalism are good things on the one hand while on the other hand believing that it is wrong to force these things upon others.  Christopher Hitchens was very, very, straightforward in his belief that such a position was horseshit; that anyone who claimed to hold it must be both a liar and a coward."


Thursday, December 15, 2011

You See, The English Drink a Bit

So depending on the time of day, they may be either a good deal less or a good deal more  forward about their attitudes towards strangers than we Yanks are accustomed to. 

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

And Some More From Chrisma Woman

A BEHAVIOR THAT HARMS MEN

"The penus goes into the anus and causes ruptured intestines.  The more a man does this the more likely he becomes a fatality or a homocider."

"A man that causes a ruptured intestine has to continue until he's done.  when the other man passes away his intestines come out of the anus and then feces comes out."

"Why have gays become bioethisists?  Gays can't stand the sight of poo coming out of a person.  It reminds them of the homicide they partook in.  Gays want those that war diapers to be done away with." 

DON'T GO TO A PROSTITUTE

"Care for the generations to come.  Date in a serious way celibately."

"One man went to a prostitute and the woman took off the prophylactic and tore it.  What can a man do then?  He goes through the act anyway.  Humans don't back out in that position.  A whore has very little money.  Every man has more money than she has.  She wants a nice man to father her child."

"The man leaves disgusted with himself.  Every man is disgusted with himself after seeing a prostitute.  When we he foot the bill for a child?  Will he marry a whore?  In a week she may have had too many encounters to consider her an affible wife."

"A man rarely can consider anything but fleeing and forgetting the encounter but if he calls the police to take her into custody the woman could stay in a quiet closed area where no man could get to her." 

RUMORS FROM AN AG COLLEGE

"It is rumored that the foreigner feds took all our beekeeping clothes to be used as biosuits to grow germs.  One housekeeper complained "Our extension agent gave us only the helmet beekeeper suit for my new beehouse.  How am I going to gather honey with my hands?"

CHINESE MOMS GIVE LETHAL HERBS TO THEIR OWN CHILD

"A Chinese mom gets only one chance to grow up a baby.  If a Chinese baby hasn't learned to walk by the time they are two years old the mom gives a lethal herb to baby and baby passes away."

"There are no retarded children in China because they have been homicided by their mother or kindergarten teacher."

"Most Chinese moms have done this.  Chinese herbs are easy to get that are lethal."

ONLY CATHOLICS HAVE DOWNE SYNDROME KIDS

"California has the most ameosentesis done to find out if the child has downe syndrome.  Many woman abort this child if they find out the child has downe syndrome." 

"In a Catholic home the downe syndrome child is affectionately loved.  The downe syndrome child is a gift to their siblings.  Siblings state 'I am cared for also even if I'm unusual or not very smart.'  Father of the child states 'You love my slow learner child so I love you too' to his wife."

"In large cities parents of downe syndrome teens have a prom for downe syndrome every year.  It is a cute memoriable event.  Some downe syndrome teens marry their prom partner later."

THOSE WITH GAY BEHAVIOR HAVE NOT BEEN ARRESTED ENOUGH

"Those with gay behavior puncture the anus and sigmoid colum to cause homocides of their partner.  Those with this common gay behavior need to be arrested for homocide.  Anus licking causes septisemia.  Humans pass away after a half hour or so after getting septisemia." 

"Those that knowingly give AIDS to another person can be caught ant tattooed with AIDS on their hand."

"Gays have homicided millions of Americans in hospitals."

A LESBIAN IN THE PAST

"How do you tell if a woman was a lesbian in the past?  She downgrades a marraige.  'My sister was so bourgeois.  She got married last May.'   She doesn't like the arrangement because she insulted herself with the lesbian act."

"She cannot be trusted in a later marriage to have a same gender friend.  A husband throws up to hear that she was a former lesbian." 

NOT ALL SMALL TOWNS ARE SAME

"I ain't never seen behavior like this before" was what a new teacher said about Decater in 1982.  Thirteen year old girls served beer at the local bar.  Fourteen year old girls often fist fought in a the bars over a boy friend. 

"An A student virgin graduate studies to be a hair stylist.  Another girl said she wanted to become a prostitute.  'There's a lot of money to be made from laying down' said one high school graduate."

"A large percent of Decatur residents were on welfare.  The year before half the senior girls tried to get pregnant so they could live with their mom with a little more money.  Some tried out the 'Rosanne' pattern of having the boy live with their daughter."

"Decatur football team always lost all games because they played Indians that had flunked up to three grade levels.  Decatur boys played against 21 year olds.  A white coach from the reservation had his boys stay over from evening to morning in school on thursdays so none were drunk before playing the game.  They got better grades on Fridays and always won against Decatur white boys." 

"A nice large teenage girl was princess of the Souix and was subjected to peyote during Christmas vacation having hallucinated after hearing drums and wailing in a teepee next to a campfire.  She didn't know whether to be proud of hallucinating or not." 

"A man put his canine on top of his station wagon and drove through town.  several times a year Indians drove by, opened the car door to grab a pet canine from a yard and went back to the reservation to eat it.  Except for a Native American fireman Indians were not well liked.  If they came into any bar they were likely to be beat up." 

"All the kids that had better behavior went to Church on Sundays.  The tiny town of 700 with two bars and several tiny churches was famous for Jesse James mom taught school here.  When times got tough with the recession and slaughterhouse layoffs some of the men went around Decatur looking for gold that Jesse might have buried there.  The bridge over the Misouri was worked on longer than they needed to for months so workers had enough paychecks coming through in winter."

"Groups are not equal in behavior.  Quote a person's statements and state whether a person or group is cruel or kind.  some are even nicer than their group."

"A turkey lottery brought all the welfare adults outdoors to stop traffic while they bet on a turkey." 

CHRIST IS COMING

"Christ comes to us so quietly asking us to come to Lincoln where the comet's effects will be milder.  when we have all persons wearing the rosary, and prayerful, doing reiki or chrisma healing, transcendental meditation.  Holy water daily and the medicinals people won't get sick."

"Are you coming along with us?  Can you like a life with only kind persons?  We might not have electricity.  We might have single older persons in single gender boarding houses so they won't be lonely.  Suitors come to dinner on a Sunday afternoons too."

"Maybe Christ can talk from a radio every afternoon.  we shall like that kind of life." 

OTHER BAD TOUCH BEHAVIOR

"In Decatur Nebraska long ago a twelve year old brother and ten year old sister got too interested in seeing each other's clothes go off  this behavior was not noticed by their parents.  the boy had other delinquent behavior besides this." 

"One day while the thirteen year old sister was taking a bath the boy throws an electric space heater into the bath tub and the girl was electrocuted by her brother."  Our society has to be taught what is bad touch behavior." 


Join up, wear a rosary, magnesium oil and don't masterbate.  State master garlic, wear garlic in pockets, sew undies to undershirt in the front and have ice in a cup next to bed.  Put white crosses up at entryways, head of bed and top of page.  Put a log lock on doors or rosary on door knobs.  throw out TV and dangerous objects.  Use only American cell phones and computers.  Let Christ into your life to heal illness, communications and advise us well.  Meet in a library.  consider using a megaphone on a cloudy day. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Youtube has Been Taking Down some Videos From the Ziggy Stardust Film



But they take away My 'Moonage Daydream' unless they're willing to dig to my tiny corner of the internet.  And it's a long dig indeed. 

Monday, December 12, 2011

By The Way

There's some new Jack Chick dope out there. 



I'm curious, as to what exactly the face of ultimate IslamoCatholicCommunistNazi evil would look like.  And I think I have a good working theory.   The mixing of Latin and Arabic would produce a sort of quasi-Spanish, and if you combine this further with German heritage and godless Marxism....




Behold the Great Whore. 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Chrisma Woman Excripts

WEDDINGS INSTEAD OF ABORTIONS

"Dorms made for two genders in same floors are inconsiderate of breeding concerns.  A woman weeps after coitus from a man not yet married to her."

"Prophylactics have been found to have a punncture too often, possibly done at the factory.  The fatal in a month tuberculosis with or without AIDS is emerging in Holland and spreading to Europe.  The usual CDC and WHO do not isolate diseases anymore and are genocidal."

"Baby is accomidated instead of discarded.  Baby is adored by the parents for lifetime care."

A TURN OF EVENTS CAN BE TURNED AROUND

Obama took down our beloved United States Constitution the day he was put into office.  Only chinese comunists and Moslem extremists are foreign students here.  Biononethicals do away with non pot smokers with Russians as police."

"These in the federal government are bad actors on a stage.  They have acted as if they were Americans with labels for their agencies doing far worse than the label, with photoshop putting past presidents shaking hands with Obama in news when they assasinated them"

"It is a short span of a month or two when one person could hypothetically do away with a million persons.
Pakistan has a miniture fission devise. 
Steve Chu wants to powder nuclear fission for a backpack."

"Chinese have a pulverizer that balsts a brick building into bits in seconds."

"This turn of events can be turned around by evaluating our society as far better than any other society.  We are nicer.  We emulate Christ.  We emulate our fair Constitution.  Christ is our leader."

IF IT IS TOO HOT WHAT DO WE DO? 

"Flowers are still in bloom in November.  Homeowners still mow the lawn.  The evening to morning weather is too warm.  Maybe the comet is coming opposite the sun.  We are not sure but if this is true another sun may appear during bedtime hours."

"In Leakey's book Lucy's tribe that walked on lava stayed in the river and got vitamin A overdose from eating so many fish.  If a comet was approaching the people fled the erupting volcano, stayed in water all day and slept by the seashore.  Fish doesn't give a person vitamin A overdose.  Red Palm oil does.  Red palm oil does not need refrigeration and is great for the brain.  Perhaps by eating and lotioning red palm oil evening to morning they survived with a functioning brain."

"Wear a wet towel over head, neck and shoulders if it gets too hot.  Holy water white cloth is even better.  Seek a lake or river to live in and catch tiny fish to eat." 

ARAB COUNTRIES NEED AMBULANCES

Chris, young American farmer Chris went to drill water wells in Saudi Arabia to get a bigger picture of life in another country.  One day he saw the pick up ahead of him swerve so much their children fell out of the back end in the countryside.  The parents looks back but didn't stop to go back to save them.  Chris stopped.  Two had severe broken bones.  The third had passed away.  Chris tried to flag down other drivers but no one stopped.  Chris put them in his car and sped to the hospital.  There were no ambulances in Saudi Arabia.  Moslems had a saying if you loose your children you don't have to go back to get them." 

A DISCUSSION IN A COLLEGE CLASSROOM

Who is worse: Moslems or Christians?  They both did harm each other is the unfocused answer that many monocultural professors want the American to state."

"Monoculturals are here to get young men to feel helpless to come to their contry's aid.  'Don't harm us genociders while we genocide you Americans.' Don't harm anyone is what they tell youn American men,  democrats vietnam era parents told their young the same statement."

"Every man has a right to defend his own country if there is an intruder.  Immigrants that genocide innocent Americans have to be off our land or under it."

JUDGEMENT YEAR

"Christ is coming to pick out kind humans that deserve to live beyond the comet coming.  saints and nice people from heaven are already coming back, finding homes and low fallutin jobs. "

"Obama flooded our nuclear plants to make them vulnerable to two thousand years without fish."

"State agencies don't keep track of how persons pass away anymore or how many have passed away.  the census count was useless."

"Women have never been used to do away with people except those that joined Al Jazerra and Chinese women that did away with a bed mate before sunup.  These women are unfit to ever marry."

"Gays have been emulated to do away with the elderly as biononethicals.  Gays are sad while mating and become sadistic."

"They have learned to decrease the brain's potential many ways and get nice men to nearly strangle their own wives" 

"Christ is dismayed so many Christians and nice people have perished in the three years that Obama has genocided stealthily with nano voices. hiding homoocides with cremations, subliminals, germ spreading, sulphur mustard gas in Africa and heading tribal disputes to end Catholic lives."

"Christ wants to make over the earth.  the comet may make mountains in an afternoon.  Some of the kind people may go to heaven and come back purified enough to deserve living on a near paradise on earth."

Join up, wear a rosary, magnesium oil and don't masterbate.  State master garlic, wear garlic in pockets, sew undies to undershirt in the front and have ice in a cup next to bed.  Put white crosses up at entryways, head of bed and top of page.  Put a log lock on doors or rosary on door knobs.  throw out TV and dangerous objects.  Use only American cell phones and computers.  Let Christ into your life to heal illness, communications and advise us well.  Meet in a library.  consider using a megaphone on a cloudy day. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Simply Brillant

"The Confederate army, during its march into Pennsylvania, routinely kidnapped blacks and sold them south. By the time Lee’s legions arrived in Gettys­burg, virtually all of the town’s free blacks had hidden or fled. On the morning of July 3, General George Pickett’s division prepared for its legendary charge. Nearby, where the Union forces were gathered, lived Abraham Brien, a free black farmer who rented out a house on his property to Mag Palmer and her family. One evening before the war, two slave-catchers had fallen upon Palmer as she made her way home. (After the passage of the Fugitive Slave Act, slave-catchers patrolled the North, making little distinction between freeborn blacks and runaways.) They bound her hands, but with help from a passerby, she fought them off, biting off a thumb of one of the hunters.  "

-Ta-Nehisi Coates

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Thoughts

I don't disagree with Guns & Roses getting in,    eventually.  They were good at what they did, even if it wasn't exactly my ideal bag.  And, Pearl Jam and Nirvana aside, I suppose that they were the last Big Rock Band in the classic understanding of the term.  Still if you compare them to acts that got left out; Rush, The Cure, and Joan Jett are all not just older but artistically superior, in my humble opinion.  Plus when you consider the influence of all things post-new wave/punk/goth/glam/new romantic on 21st century Rock it seems obvious to me that The Cure are quite by far the more historically significant band.  They should have gotten in several years ago, certainly ahead of Axl's insufferable punk ass.

I have a similar problem with the Red Hot Chili Peppers getting in before War.  I think both bands are at the same level, on the border between very good and great, but War are older, an important influence on all the funk rock that came after them, RHCP included, so...

Finally, until there's a Hip Hop hall of fame existing as anything more than a vague commitment, it is simply unfathomable that Eric B and Rakim to be anything less than unanimous locks. It's almost as if hall voters are part of the same baby boom leviathan that has kept that generations fears conceits and preoccupations at the center of pop culture for decades past the point that their children and grandchildren have grown sick to death of them.  Well people, you'd better expand the Hall suffrage demographic beyond the middle-aged Classic Rawk demographic that's keeping Styx on the radio eighty times a day.  Because N.W.A will be eligible in 2013, Pac in 2016, Wu-Tang in 2018, and then Biggie and Outkast both in 2019, and all of them are getting in on the first ballot, understand?  Otherwise...


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Just to Remind you That my Influences are More Esoteric Than Yours

In Other News

How this is anything less than self-evident to all, I don't know. Never ever consent to letting the police search your car.     They wouldn't be asking you if they already could.  The foreboding tone that they're speaking to you in is just that, a tone.  They are not actually saying anything, and as soon as you have the ears to pick that up it's actually very funny.

In all honesty, if being frowned upon by authority hurts your feelings so much as to turn your brain off you really shouldn't have gotten into the smuggling game at all.  Maybe you should have stayed at home and gone to work at Dad's hardware store instead.  It's a good store, it kept you fed.  Now dad has to explain to grandma why you won't be home for Christmas.  Was making making officer friendly happy worth the price of making grandma sad?  Did you really think you could just smile his suspicion away.  You're an outsider.  The entire budget of the county which employs him is dependent on finding reasons to lock up outsiders.  It's the main source of revenue for every local gorvernment between Omaha and Salt Lake. 

Always say no to every search request, out of hand, even if there's nothing in yout trunk except pictures of you training puppies to convert heathens, and none of this would have happened.  Who in the hell is hiring these bush league morons to deliver their product anyway? 

Ayn Rand Being a Pendantic Bitch Towards a 16 Year Old,

and other fascinating glimpses into literary minds of the past.

Monday, December 5, 2011

OK, Seriously...

Who the fuck did this shit???


No seriously, destroying books through urination?  The fuck hell now??

The allusions to 'alcohol likely being a factor' in the article heavily implies that the staff assumes this was the work of a homeless person.  Maybe, though I wouldn't assume so.  The downtown library in Lincoln, Bennet Martin, is, an urban downtown library, and as such is a common gathering place for homeless folk.  (In fact, it's been an not-so-indirectly implied reason for snipping  at library funds in particular whenever some spasm of budget cutting comes around)  But they know the building, as well as you know your house.  They know where the bathrooms are. 

 
Seriously though.  Low, low, low, low, low down fucking move.  You do not vandalize books, deliberately or accidentally, either as a political statement or a statement or a statement of total lack of any instinctive reptilian sanitation.  Libraries are sanctuaries.  Books are who we are and who you and all that you and I will be after we are dead.  Do you understand you pigfuck.... whoever you are?  Pissing on a rug in the middle of a public building is mildly obnoxious.  You'll still get Facebook invites to parties.  Fucking with books is infama.  You never, ever, ever, ever, fuck with the city's and the peoples books, not fucking ever; period. Out. 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

I'll be Getting Some Minor Van Repair at Seven in the Morning

I haven't actually woken up at dawn since, maybe once in the summer, when I had to work, I'm not sure.   I do know it's only been a handful of times in my adult life, and I can't say I have any real intention of changing that. 

I contemplating whether I can hang on 5-6 hours of sleep and than wake up on time or stay up watching 'Manos Hands of Fate" or go the Hiway Diner and drink coffee all night.  Stay tuned for possible caffiene/sleep deprevation dada poetry. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

College Football: End of Reg top 20

1. L.S.U
2. Alabama
3. Oklahoma State
4. Stanford
5. Wisconsin
6. U.S.C
7. Virginia Tech
8. Michigan State
9. Kansas State
10 Oregon
11 Boise State
12 Houston
13 Clemson
14 Arkansas
15 Michigan
16 South Carolina
17 T.C.U
18 Georgia
19 Southern Miss
20 Baylor

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Sign Seen on Library Drinking Fountain:

"Love is Never Overrated!" 

I really do wish I could believe that myself. 

Some Square State Love From the NYT Today, Sort of.

Why haven’t viable environmental groups formed to protect the Ogallala? Because corn contributes so much to the economy that its reign is seldom questioned. Federal subsidy payments to corn growers and the federal mandate to produce ethanol underwrite the waste and pollution.
These subsidies should end. When the farm bill comes up for reauthorization next year, Congress should instead pay farmers to reduce their dependence on irrigation and chemicals. The eastern Nebraska climate is moist enough to grow corn without irrigation. That is how the University of Nebraska football team came to be the Cornhuskers. And the more arid High Plains to the west are known as the nation’s breadbasket because wheat, a drought-tolerant crop, thrives there. - Julene Bair


This op-ed piece is basically right on the money.  There is no good reason why the 'cornbelt' should extend further west then Grand Island or Kearney.  And the only real reason for why corn farms do extend into the rain shadow of the Rockies where I hail from is the completely insane federal subsidies for a product we have far too much of in regards to other crops.  Still I know plenty of friends ans family who think they are helping the environment by buying into the ethanol scam, and new factories for producing the 15 mpg weak-ass shit is the only thing keeping several villages out there in the fields alive.  This is just one of several reasons for why ending corn subsidies will be difficult.  We are somewhat famous for considering ourselves the most righteous folk in the world,  there's a perfectly sincere belief that it isn't welfare when we get it.  And the chemicals we're putting into our crops, and than of course our water afterwords, is a different story entirely.  Needless to say, the official  mainstream belief is that only panicky hippies and freakish enviro nuts would even think to worry about such things.

Oh well.  When the Ogallala Aquifer does run out; at the current rate of drainage this will happen while my generation is still very much alive and not very old at all, and everything from Denver east to Lincoln and Salina is abandoned desert, I suppose that would mean that things have taken care of themselves.  The free market way, natural like.