Friday, August 9, 2013

Weekend Saucy

In my childhood Mother had a friend and neighbor named Sue. In the mid-eighties when I was very small Sue lost her teenage son to an undetected heart condition. Things fell apart with her husband in the years after.  They divorced and Sue has never been really centered in her life since then.  Years later when I was drunk her boyfriend of the time pulled next to me in his big van and asked if I wanted my dick sucked. He politely accepted my decline and that was good on him so far as that goes.

Behind Buffalo Bill's ranch immediately outside North Platte along Lakeview Rd. are some oil storage tanks that I used to drive by while smoking weed. In the late nineties somebody tagged what looked like "bull sex" on the front gate though I later found it was actually "butt sex" The tag stayed there for like seven or eight years before somebody cleaned it up. In my mind the spot will always be Buttsex Point.

I was a somewhat younger child during Jeff Foxworthy's heyday. I can't honestly say that I didn't find him funny. I was white and rural myself you know. And young.Those are my excuses and I'm sticking to them.  I remember his joke about the meaning of the word "indifferent" something like "hello, I go to Butt Pirate High School and I love my boyfriend because he's the only one who puts it in different."  Gay men and anal sex exist. That was the joke. Zing.

I'd hate to say that I understand homophobia and so imply that I emphasize. But it is pretty damned common in a wide variety of cultures.  I'm rather more mystified towards this othering of butt sex as something alien and freakish.  Anal sex is only as freaky as sex itself by definition is.  All sex with all variety of partners has the same H.R. Geiger science fiction weirdness to it. The smells and things being enveloped and disappearing is all there always. the word funk exists for a reason and I greatly prefer George Clinton's language in describing intercourse to any high- flown rot about Lovers or Ecstasy.  All sex is funky, guttural, strange; buttsex no more inherently so. At any rate I can guarantee you that white, married, Christian, hetero couples are having anal sex right now; some with the woman on top. There's technology these days.

I remember hearing the whispered stories of "pegging" at the rate of once every few months in North Platte; always in the same appalled tone I would hear say how Rick or Jeff or Tom or Bill had 'let' his wife or girlfriend fuck him with a strap-on.  Always the people around me would be horrified and usually someone would exclaim that "that's so gay". (How people of generally average intelligence could be so confused I don't know.  They'd just heard with their own ears that a man had sex with a woman.  Beating a rhino to death with a warhammer is something besides a man having sex with a woman and therefore closer to gay, if you're into strict oppositions.)

Looking back as I've matured I've come to strongly suspect that the crowd's reaction was mostly theatre. (Also no more essentially gay than buttsex, mistaken notions aside.)  They lived in the same small town that I did and were probably hearing tales of peg with the same frequency.  My neighbors were only pretending to be stunned by what was actually a very easily imaginable act. Their reaction was more like the Mccarthyites of old who were always aghast when some new egghead was named a Commie; when actually they clearly longed for a world in which everyone but themselves was a Red traitor. So it was that my NP brethren dreamed of a world in which they themselves were the only Real Men on top, heroically besieged on all sides by secret homoheteros.

I myself do not walk among the who have been pegged. I did once have a girlfriend a bit bullish in manner and she would often make it known that she would maybe be alright with it but... no. I've no moral objection and I hope I've made that clear but; shit just looks like it hurts is all. 

No comments:

Post a Comment