Monday, April 25, 2016


The Flintstones and Jetsons were new at about the same time.  It occurs that both of them together may have promoted an illusion that the white suburbia of the time was the Only True American culture for all eternity.  Perhaps facilitating the rise of Reaganism or that 'strict constructionist' necromancy.  The answer to the old joke of why we don't have flying cars yet is what the fuck for?  We've had to technical capacity to make one today for decades now but what the fuck for?  We have ground cars that go fast enough and planes that go faster so fine.  All of our fucking food is on the surface and no where else right so what the fuck does everyone on the Jetsons live on giant fucking stilts for? Aren't hurricanes bad enough without every man woman and child in Houston getting fucking Pompeiied out of existence? It's like that ancient patriarchial fantasy of mankind existing above and outside of nature taken to the nth isn't it?  The Jetsons live in some sterile hell where people need to get drunk before tolerating sex through boxing short slots and anyone who gets a pimple is fed to the sky.

I once heard a distant cousin of mine refer to highway restrooms "back east" as hotbeds of gay activity.  I'd guess with some confidence that such furtive cruising is actually more common in conservative areas or maybe it's a matter of population density. The media I consume has implied to me that spontaneous lesbian sex in public bathrooms or the doctor's office or the high school gym is as common as the sunrise though I know that it isn't. Still I have seen it happen at a 24 hour Starbucks in Lakeview Chicago.  Or actually what I saw was a bathroom door with two women behind it for twenty minutes until the manager made point to call the police in their hearing.  They came out to applause but I cannot personally approve. I'm conservative enough to acknowledge the immorality of denying a public bathroom to others by cumming or dying of an overdose in it.  Go have sex on the sidewalk.  Go die of an overdose on the mayor's lawn.  Show some respect.

There was once a guard dog who failed to warn the Romans of an oncoming attack with its bark.  Why most dogs would bark at a strange toddler and this one didn't bark at an army will never be known. The dog was crucified for its failure anyhow, and a wholly random dog was crucified in memorial on the attack's anniversary for centuries afterward.  In some medieval districts a dog that ate a baby or what have you was put on trial for murder.  It faced the same absence of protection for the accused as people in feudal trials but that's just it.  It was treated the same as people; which is more than we grant dogs who merely draw human blood today. 

I suppose I point this out to show that today's vegans environmentalists etc. are at the very least innocent of breaking some ancient consensus.  There has never been any such consensus.  We have always been able to note that other creatures seem to have considerably less going on inside than we do yet also considerably more than nothing; and all while we have been compelled to kill this or that in order to eat ourselves.  The question mark of how we are to treat other beings in the face of this has always been there.  It is not new. Our cultures have always just winged it as we've gone along and then maybe attached some cosmic rationale to how we do when challenged.  So it always is with every hallowed tradition. There are times for example when people will cite that line of Genesis where God grants us dominion over animals; and what's telling is that this line isn't the kind that gets busted out at football games like John 3:16.  It is almost only ever invoked by those who make profit condemning chickens to phone-booth jamming for life or experiment on steers to see how long they live if they're fat enough to break their own legs by standing.  Much of the spontaneous, seemingly mysterious cruelty towards animals one finds in factory farms seems to be a case of inverted guilt; the use of sadism as a way of pretending to believe that these beings are inanimate objects that happen to make noise.

Yet if taken literally the dominion line says nothing at all in grandiose prose doesn't it?  Dominion is the liberty to treat what is ours in perfectly opposing ways as we will. Deciding that a prairie dog's life takes priority over a ranchers ownership prerogatives is exercising dominion same as vice-versa. Gods grant of dominion is a holy license to be as soft in heart and spirit as we fucking ay want to be. Or anyway one need not spend their days tambourining among the trees or chaining themselves to one to recognize that the very idea of mastering nature is quantum-level bullshit.  We shall displace the ground above our graves for a week or two.  There's our dominion.

I remember being thirteen and newly hardcore enough to stay up REALLY LATE.  This entailed Cinemax porn of course. (It's the very same Miami Vice looking shit to this day if you were curious.) MST3K, cult stoner movies on TBS: Heavy Metal, the Evil Dead series; all of it a third parent to my eventual being in some ways.  Someone once snuck a full-reveal lipstick lesbian porn onto 10-11 right after Dave Letterman and experiencing that made me feel like I'd exposed the Lizard Men.

Jerry Springer hadn't quite blown up at this time. He got play at two or three in the morning out of Kearney's ABC.  I saw an episode called "Gay Nazis in Prison and the Black Men who Love Them" and I was so enthralled by this that it was like I was cumming myself this was just damn. I've been unable to find clips of it on Youtube or anywhere else and anyhow that spell is broken mainly. I've grown up, learned things, had family in legal trouble. I've learned that in prison it is no thing at all for a Nazi and a black nationalist to form a deep human bond over chess. That it is indeed only somewhat more notable for a Nazi to have an interracial gay romance.  The gay part of it is of course a given anyway, and we all know that prisons have been minority-majority a couple centuries ahead of the general public. They are simply who the fish in the sea are; and the world just Works Different in prison.  In the free world one's reasons for joining the Nazis are understood to be highly exceptional by definition, while in prison it is considered strange for a white convict to not join the Nazis: and you really don't wanna be seen as strange if you're in prison.  In aiming to describe this scene in a factual/neutral manner I did not mean to imply that it's an amicable place because.... well no.

When I was a post-toddler boy the space between daytime shows on NET was filled with nothing but a blue IBM screen to the sound of Mannheim Steamroller or some Atari sounding noise. In this age there was a miniseries set in post-apocalyptic Nebraska.  It was made to teach kids how to read maps.  I remember the sight of a bombed-out Columbus and it must have cost a heavy nickel to produce it all. By age ten I was a motherfucking ace at Carmen Sandiego though I never did try out for the show. The world that will die when my generations brains are shat out as dust has been nurturing enough I suppose.          

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